爆笑詼諧英語笑話

時間：2020-10-15 15:16:14 英語笑話

爆笑詼諧英語笑話

　　幽默的人不僅僅會說笑話，還要懂得他人說的笑話，來測試一下你的幽默細胞的指數有多高吧!

爆笑詼諧英語笑話

　　爆笑詼諧英語笑話一：Best Reward

　　A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

　　最好的獎賞

　　一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

　　“最好的`辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

　　爆笑詼諧英語笑話二：The boy and the snails

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　男孩和蝸牛

　　一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢?”

　　爆笑詼諧英語笑話三：Cat Collector

　　A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

　　He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

　　The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.

　　The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

　　The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

　　To which the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

　　爆笑詼諧英語笑話四：Cross-eyed Rottweiler

　　A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for it?"

　　"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"

　　So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.

　　"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"

　　"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.

　　"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.

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