爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全
1、Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".
迪克年齡七歲,他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲.一天,媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩,自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服.
孩子們玩了個(gè)把小時(shí),在四點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候,姨媽領(lǐng)著迪克走進(jìn)了廚房.她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并對(duì)他說(shuō)：“喏,迪克,給你刀子,把這塊蛋糕一切為二,給你妹妹一塊.不過(guò),你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣.”
迪克問(wèn)：“像一個(gè)紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”
他姨媽馬上回答說(shuō)：“紳士總是把大的'一塊讓給別人的.”
迪克說(shuō)了一聲“噢”.他對(duì)此想了一會(huì),然后,他把蛋糕拿給妹妹,并對(duì)她說(shuō)：“凱瑟琳,你來(lái)把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧.”
2、Stan:I won 92 goldfish.
Fred:Where are you going to keep them?
Stan:In the bathroom .
Fred:But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan:Blindfold them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚(yú).
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們?
斯丹：浴室.
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時(shí)怎么辦?
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!
3、George knocked on the door of his friend's house.When his friend's mother answered he asked,“can Albert come out to play?”
“ No,” said the mother,“it's too cold.”
“ Well,then,” said George,“ can his football come out to play ”
喬冶敲著他朋友家的門.當(dāng)朋友的媽媽來(lái)應(yīng)門時(shí),他問(wèn)：“阿爾伯特可以出來(lái)玩嗎?”
“ 不行,” 那位媽媽說(shuō),“ 天氣太冷了.”
“ 噢,那么,” 喬冶,“ 他的足球可以出來(lái)玩嗎?
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